After church this morning, Aunt May and I went to the salon. She's been asking me nearly every day when she can go. Apparently she used to go once a month to get a full haircolor. I told her we needed to look at the budget to see if she could afford it, and she vehemently insisted that she could definitely afford it, that it's never been a problem. We argued a bit on the way there, my side being that she didn't need to get a full color every time, and her side being that she did. I pointed out that she's wasting money on getting a full color, when she just needs a touch up, which costs less. She countered that she didn't worry about the money because she didn't want it to look "spotty." So to conclude it, I said, today you'll get a full color, but when you go back in 6 weeks (not a month), you'll just get a touch-up. She murmured something self-assuring ("it'll all work out" or something like that) and I dropped her off at the salon, after discussing with her new stylist the cost ($77) and when to come back and get her (1 hour).
Fast forward to her paying the bill... turns out the stylist is a twin also, and her name is Nancy Ann* (name changed) and she was being super sweet to Aunt May and they were both acting like they hit it off big-time. So when reminded to add a tip, she told the stylist to add $5. Five dollars?? That's less than 10 percent! I said wait, don't you want to leave at least a 15% tip? Aunt May got upset -- "That's all I can afford." I was stunned. I offered to give my debit card an extra $10 charge but of course that wouldn't work -- you can't just charge a tip as a charge :( The stylist was really nice about it and waved it off. But after we got into the car, I started on her. "How could you leave just a $5 tip after how much you guys hit it off? Do you know that's less than 10 percent?" "But that's all I can afford!" she repeated. This was just confusing. "If you can't afford a 15 percent tip, then you can't afford to get the service. This is how people make their living, you know. If you leave less than 10 percent, that's considered an insult, and you're basically saying they gave terrible service." "Well, what do you want me to do, get a job?" Wow, didn't see that one coming. Then, "You have a job that pays a lot" (she has no idea what I make) -- "You can afford to tip like that." I told her my job and pay had nothing to do with this rule of etiquette. I told her I was embarrassed. She said she wasn't. I told her she should be. "How about we ask my husband?" "You can't ask a man about a woman's thing like this," she scoffed. Her logic was improving by the minute.
Back at the ranch, I told my husband what had happened. He agreed with me 100%. If she can't afford an extra $5 for a proper tip, then she can't afford the salon. What's ludicrous is that she had probably $50 to $100 cash dripping out of her delapidated wallet when she dredged up her credit card to pay... I thought of it later and wished I had just said, "Hey, could you give me $5 and I'll go get you a Starbucks?" then when she gave it to me, I could just hand it to the stylist. Anyway, he told me that when he was a waiter, the waitstaff would always hate getting old people as customers because they were horrible tippers. There was another group of predictably bad tippers which I won't mention :) But this is so weird to me. Did they teach that tipping was optional, or "tip-what-you-can-afford" back in the 50s or something? Why is it that a whole generation is purchasing meals and services and paying the base price, but clueless about the 15% rule?? I will have to look into this. And despite my husband saying I shouldn't try to reason with her, I still fantasize about showing her an Emily Post and her suddenly understanding the truth. But we did agree that the cost of a tip will be mandatory into the cost of future salon visits (and the next one will need to make up for this one).
She still insists that she's great at managing her money, that she's "paying off her debt." I pointed out that she's only paying the minimum, and that the interest on her debt was higher than the interest in her stocks, so she's losing money on a couple of fronts. But my husband and I will have to have that conversation with her another day. Totally can't wait. :P
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