Shitty weekend

So yesterday the hubby was making soda with Soda Stream. He miscalculated something and spilled grape soda all over the floor. He said something to me like, whoops, kind of laughing. I laughed at first, then noticed the giant pile of grape soda going on our new laminate floor. Why don't you move this over the sink?? I said. And he flipped out. Just got really really angry. I was still kind of laughing and that made him even madder. He ended up flipping me off hard, and snapping my face with a towel. I was like, hitting me is unacceptable. He goes, "fuck off, you piece of shit." With that, I turned around and went to the master bedroom to cry. 

Then after about 20 minutes, I went to the kitchen and cooked a steak dinner. I served him a plate and we silently watched Game of Thrones. Then when it was done he reached for his laptop and resumed his video game. After about ten minutes of Wife Swap, I got bored and sad and went to bed.

Thinking it through... All weekend, a typical weekend, was full of not-so-thinly veiled criticisms of me. My hair is lame and I should straighten it. My forehead is giant so I should use sunscreen on it. I'm a prude because I joked that a honeymooner's mattress comment was TMI. I cooked the wrong kind of rice with my homemade Mexican taco dinner. And now, after just one time of me criticizing his ACTIONS (not his personality or self), he tells me I'm a piece of shit. Just feel really beaten up. Why is the one person I love most in the world the one who heaps on the most criticism? If he's trying to make me strong, it does, but in a bad way -- it makes my heart just a little bit harder towards him just a little every time. If he could balance it out with loving compliments, maybe it would be easier to take, but he rarely if ever hands those out.

 I feel quite depressed, then angry, then heartsick, then depressed again. I have to try not to cry today.